!Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everybody!

Hope you all had a great time off and managed to spend some quality time with friends and family!

Both Christmas and the New Year have been different for me this year. First off, I was working and secondly, it was the first time I spent them pretty much at home. I did however manage to spend both with Tom and managed to spend Chrsitmas with my dad and nan.

..........

I've never really written a blog so i don't quite know where to start.

Recent events have really put my mind into some perpective.

The whole concept of New Year New Me is semi working. Currently my mood writing this is weird and uncomfortable but it's something that I need to get off my chest.

I have now regained the title of a struggling singer/song-writer but also managed to lose the trust of a close friend who I made over the past few months. It's safe to say that I'm ashamed of my behaviour and also that I still need to learn how to make friends and keep them.

I don't understand the concept of friends even though I try to believe I do by being friendly with everyone I come across (It's a habit I really need to fix)

I find that making friends is easy but to maintain a friendship is especially hard. This is prpobably due to the fact that I have been in and out of many schools during my younger years as well as the fact that I lived in a society where it was the norm for people to constantly be moving away. I don't understand friendship ettiquette and quite frankly am lost to the complexities so I just give up.

That's why this year I've decided to not prioritise myself but to go see as many of my closest friends scattered around the world as I can. There comes a time when you realise how alone you are and how important these people are to you. To some this may seem like it's still very self centered but to those who know me they will probably agree with me when I say I have never been the one to initiate a conversation and that i never really put effort into creating a long distance friendship.

So yeah, that's basically it.

It's a bit of a downer but it's something that has been on my mind for a quite a while and as it's a New Year, this is the time I need to act :)